What the universe is trying to tell you when an ex reappears.

Some people hope and wish and pray their exes would return, especially if the break-up is new.

For those of us that have relegated certain ex-partnerships to that of pure fiction, or the list of things I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-ever, the feeling we get when bumping into them after a long separation may not be as warm and welcoming as Hollywood portrays.

It’s never like we see in the movies where boy and girl split in a rather heartbreaking way, only to be brought together again by some fortunate planetary alignment forcing them to realize that it is only each other they need.

Not that it doesn’t or can’t happen.  Many situations end happily ever after (whatever that means), but more often than not, it does not happen that way.  It doesn’t even happen that way to celebrities.

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Take Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt.  When my best friend in my mind, Brad Pitt, was finally single again, the whole world went mad thinking he could finally reunite with my other best friend, Jennifer Aniston.

While people felt it a poetic justice of sorts considering how they’d parted, that love connection is done.

It was likely done long before Angelina came into the picture, but what is Hollywood without a good ‘other woman story,’ right?

That being said, there is no romantic reunion on the horizon, and both parties would do well to move on to more spiritually (there’s the keyword friends) fulfilling partnerships.** (see the end of the post for a quick note on spiritual connections)

In my unfortunate case, I ran into someone I had long forgotten and so therefore, it took me by surprise when finding out he lived one town over from me, and was working in my hometown.

Exhibit A (my ex) was nice enough, had done well, and was starting over again for which I wished him well (we’ve all been at rock bottom more than once), but I couldn’t help but wonder why the universe would have me run into this particular person?

After our brief encounter, I got to thinking.  What does it mean when your exes show up?

I questioned my spirit guide mercilessly, but in his usual fashion, Paeli  did his best to lead me to my own conclusions.

After shoving a brownie down my throat from the stress of it all, it finally hit me:


Sometimes, our exes show up to remind us that even though things might not be idyllic where we are, they could always be worse…see exhibit A.

When I got home, I threw some cards down to get a more expanded view of the real message behind it all.

What I discovered was eye-opening.

All the cards pointed to appreciation.  Appreciation for my health, family, friends, lovers, co-workers, opportunities, and just for life in general.

We get so caught up obsessing over what we don’t have or is not good in our lives that we forget all our blessings.  We also tend to forget where we came from, which can cause a lack of appreciation for how far we’ve come.

I was miserable with this ex and while I had my share of tumultuous relationships after him, I ended up with someone who was a good match for me.

If you are unattached (or attached) and happen to run into an ex-partner who wasn’t a good match, before you allow your emotions to squeeze all common sense from your brain, take a minute to meditate on the message the universe might be sending.

Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of a person and not the experience of them.

If the universe takes someone from our lives, it might be for a good reason.  I can’t think of anyone the divine removed from my life that didn’t end up being for the absolute best.

Keep Seeking.


If you could see the energies flowing between two humans, you would see what looks like a thin, vibrating chord. We have many of these chords connecting us to significant people in our lives.

It is important to note that all energy is neutral; what makes it positive or negative is the thoughts accompanying it.


When two people are connected, there is a noticeable energy flow between them. So when they tell me they are done with a partner, and I still see the chord, I know it is not over.

Some chords look ripped, and those relationships usually have some interference that literally “tore them apart.”  It can be hard to mend, but there is a possibility since the end of the chords are still free-flowing.

When a relationship is over, the chords abruptly end, and there is no more connection.  This is also very clear to read when people ask about certain partnerships.

In the case of lovers, there are usually three chords connecting to the heart chakra, second chakra and the root chakra.

If the couple is connected spiritually,  there will be chords from their sixth and seventh chakras.


If the energy is infused with negativity, the chords appears dark with what looks like little black hooks that can grab into our aura and chakras.

When we have dark chords, it is best to remove them. Those are toxic relationships (see my post about toxic energies and how to clear them) that drain our precious life force energy.  Sage, Epsom Salt Baths, and Energy Healers can help remove them.

Letting go of the past can be a difficult thing to do, but it is a must. Remember, the past and the future do not exist, only the present.








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