Under the most incredible adversity, there exists the most significant potential for doing good for oneself and others.His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
It seems like many of us are going through a tough time. It’s as if the universe is forcing us to clean out our closets that have been the keeper of trauma, pain, secrets, lies, and general unhappiness for most of our lives. While this sounds like a beautiful idea, in theory, it is pretty painful in practice.
I was going through a terrible time the last few months when anxiety and depression were at their worst. I was terrified of the thoughts running through my head and even more terrified of what I would do about it. There was so much “stuff” coming to the surface I feared I could not handle it.
Thankfully with the help of my faith and an excellent therapist, I could navigate the waters of adversity, landing safely on the shore. While I thought I’d gone twelve rounds in a boxing ring with Tyson when it was all said and done, here is what I learned.
YOU DO MATTER
No matter what has happened to you in your life, no matter how traumatic it may have been: YOU DO MATTER
Your thoughts, opinions, dreams, wishes, and LIFE matters.
Being victims of trauma can make us feel we are not worthy, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. If you feel worthless, lost, and completely alone, please know that this is not the reality of who you are. You do matter not only to many people in your immediate circle of human connections but also to the divine.
YOU ARE SO LOVED
At a particularly devastating time when I was suffering from panic/anxiety disorder, and my world was becoming increasingly smaller, I remember one night during a thunderstorm, I had an experience I would never forget.
I was alone in bed in our studio apartment in Manhattan. My now husband was out with some friends and wasn’t due until late. I can’t begin to tell you how terrified I was of being alone, even in my home. I sat in bed crying, letting all the fear drip out of my eyeballs. When my adrenals finally succumbed to their last hormonal surge, I lay down to sleep.
Right before I fell asleep in that space between, I heard a voice. A female voice, loud and clear:
She said, “Angelique, you are so loved.”
While I was a bit frightened by the idea of hearing voices, there was something so comforting about this voice it didn’t even occur to me to mind; I drifted off to sleep without a care in the world.
Most of us who have damage from trauma feel as though we constantly need the approval of others. This leads to feelings of doubt, depression, and an overall sense of disappointment, as we cannot be all things to all people all the time.
But what if I told you the power that animates you, the co-creator energy, God, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammad (however you see the divine) is the only thing that matters? That is the only approval you’ll ever need, and you already have it. When you tap into that energy (continuously available), things will become crystal clear. You do not need the approval of anyone because you are already loved.
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
You’ve probably heard or read that you can rewire your brain. While I was initially skeptical, after months of putting theory into practice, I can honestly say it works. There is so much science behind this that it wouldn’t be fair to call it a theory. There is proof that our brains can create new pathways based on correcting thoughts and beliefs, and it really does work!
Here is the part no one likes to hear; it takes A LOT of work to think correctly. It means taking every thought you have that doesn’t serve your well-being and replacing it with a positive one. This can seem like a daunting task, especially if you are inherently negative, but here is the good news; when you finally do notice the results, your life as you know it will never be the same. Remember that any positive system will take a little time before your emotions connect to the new belief.
Have compassion for yourself and others, as we are all traveling the road of life together. Remember that when we go through great struggles or adversities in our lives, they help us grow, and as we evolve, we help others do the same.
So many of the greatest stories ever told came from those who overcame insurmountable obstacles to achieve their goals. They’ve inspired us as we will inspire those who will come after us. In the most challenging times, we find out who we are, and if we look deep within, through the eyes of love, we will find that we do matter.